Post by *Teej Wants PotF Back* >__< on Jul 15, 2005 12:22:49 GMT -5
I think this was pretty funny, I don't know if I have the same humor as the rest of y'alls 'cause I'm country and whatnot, but...
You see, me and my friends often take trips to either Busch Gardens Williamsburg or Water Country Williamsburg because:
A) It's so close, and
B) We have season passes to both (a must-have when you live anywhere around Yorktown).
So me and one of my goofier, bolder friends (male) went to Water Country today. We didn't go to ride rides or anything, just to hang around. Then we had seen a friend's sister’s boyfriend, and he was OUT WITH ANOTHER GIRL. We both got really upset because we had become good friends with his girlfriend, so we had decided to mess with their heads. My friend, Michael (we all call him Mech, like mechanic, because he can fix practically anything) and I followed the two around. Luckily, no one recognized us.
We followed them to the diner-styled restaurant. Once we got out of line from behind them after ordering food, they sat down at a picnic table. We sat down next to them with our food (at the same table, pretty much next to them close enough to interrupt the date) and they gave us funny looks. We just stared back and started eating. Here’s the beginning dialogue:
Kris (jerk-boyfriend to one of my best bud’s sisters): Excuse me, but there are plenty of other tables for you to sit at.
Mech (M from here on out): We know. (We keep eating)
Jerk-boy’s date (Her name’s Kathy, so she’s K from here on): Well, we’d like some privacy. You’re sorta disturbing us. (Wow, she’s smart for a blonde...*wait, go back That was a smart aleck-y comment Remember that *)
Me (T for the rest): Are we? (Sincerly) Oh, we’re so very sorry! (We stay where we are, continue eating. Silence for a bit, and then Kris gets mad)
Kris (J for Jerk): Okay, who are you?
T: We’re with the republic. (I swear, I wasn’t even thinking of movies at the time. It just popped up into my mind, probably because we saw about a billion Republican bumper stickers on the way there.)
M: We’ve been sent to infiltrate the water park.
T: But we need to spy on teenage life forms. You’re our first victims.
M: M’kay? (This is where I almost start laughing. We’re very quick witted. We both write so I guess it just comes naturally–and maybe from watching all those sitcoms. We continue eating.)
K: Uh, not okay. We’re, like, doing something (Typical beach bunny behavior. She needs to shut up about now).
M: So are we. (Eating again. We like to eat. Very fun/normal.)
T (through mouthfuls of fruit salad): So, you guys wanna hit Big Daddy Falls later on?
J: We don’t know you
M: (plasters such a serious look on his face that I almost choke on a melon slice) Ah, but we know you, Kristopher McDougall.
J: What? (He’s so confused that I’m cracking up in my mind) Let’s jet, Kath. (They give up and leave their food on the table, walking away.)
M: (Tilting the plastic container of food his way) Yo, McDougall, can I have the rest of your cheese fries? (This is where we burst out in laughter, mostly because no one has EVER heard him use ‘yo’ before. He’s more of a ‘dude’ kind of guy.)
Kris and Kathy ran out to Aquazoid, the tallest and longest (and most awesome) ride in the park. We sneak after them quietly, and we’re in line right behind them (they don’t turn around so they didn’t see us). Once we’re near the top, almost in the raft, I poke Kris on the shoulder.
T: (Fonzie-style) Heyyyyyyyyyy! (He jumps after he sees me. There’s a really good chance he thought I was some kind of ghost.)
K: Who the heck do you think you are?
Random Lifeguard: Excuse me, but this is a family park. Stop the cursing. (Kris nods.) How many in the raft, sir?
Mech spoke for us instead of Kris.
M: Four. (The raft can fit eight, but they like groups so the lines go faster. Me and Mech go sit in the raft, Kathy and Jerk-Bro are surprised. Kris speaks up.)
J: What? We’re not getting in the raft with them! They’re lunatics!
Lifeguard: Please sit, sir. (The guy is REALLY buff, so Kris sits down in the only spot between me and Mech. Mech blows his nose on his t-shirt to make Kris disgusted–it works.)
It’s a very simple ride, but it’s the biggest and longest of them all, so it’s great. Most of it is in the dark, however, and all the tourists usually squeal in the tunnels. But there’s a sorta-tradition with regulars that says that either you don’t scream, or you scream when you’re out of the tunnels. High-schoolers don’t carry out the tradition– middle schoolers, for the most part, do. So, of course, we do, and we do it loud and proud. On the last small dip, me and Mech yell really really loud and high-pitched.
Once we’re out, we both grab Kris and link arms with him, leaving Kathy on the side, walking along. We sing the Phlarm song, a song made up by the 7th grade writer’s guild. It’s about an alien who lives in a bowl, and how he does his normal activities. During school, it was silly and cute–during the summer, it was quite annoying and actually sounded alien. Kris finally takes his arms away from us (no easy task, since Mech works out *though it doesn’t show, he’s very strong* and I’m just very strong-willed like that) and finally recognizes us–sorta.
J: Who in the name of all things Fred are you? (Yes, he said Fred. I dunno...at least I think I heard Fred.)
T: (like a little girl *a very Pim moment for me*) Violent, misunderstood geniuses...who get mad when we don’t get our way. (Mech starts looking hostile in his strange Mechy way. Kris doesn’t believe us.)
J: Wait...I’ve seen you guys somewhere...in Jay’s house? (We look to each other–it would make sense if he’d seen us before because we always hang out at Robin’s *the sister of the girlfriend of this creeps* pad) You’re friends of Robin.
T: And of Jay’s. (We stop being stupid and act our age–13. That’s sad.)
M (to Kathy): You don’t care that you’re going out with a guy who has a girlfriend already?
K: (to Kris) You do? (He’s a tad on the speechless side) Look, Kris, this is weird. I’m just gonna call a cab to take me home. (She leaves.)
J: Can I call you?
K: No. (Ouch. Score one for beach bunny, two for team Teej/Mech, and zippo for Jerk-Boy. I didn’t think she had moxy–let alone backbone. Nothing happens for a while.)
T: (Out of nowhere) So, really, you wanna get on Big Daddy Falls? (Kris leaves for his car. Me and Mech do our special handshake. Actually, it’s a regular handshake, but still.)
So we just ride on the rides until Mech calls his dad to come take us home. On the way there, I call Robin’s cell and tell her what happened. At first she was upset about the whole thing, but afterwards she started laughing. She never really approved of Kris at all, she told us, that Jay was trying really hard to make sure that he was loyal to her, and she was glad that we were there. Honestly, although a bit on the TV-worthy style, it was a pretty good day.
The funniest part is that it had actually happened–to me! Junk like this never happens to me.
And this is why it belongs in Curtis’s Comedy Central Cafe-Like Thing.
You see, me and my friends often take trips to either Busch Gardens Williamsburg or Water Country Williamsburg because:
A) It's so close, and
B) We have season passes to both (a must-have when you live anywhere around Yorktown).
So me and one of my goofier, bolder friends (male) went to Water Country today. We didn't go to ride rides or anything, just to hang around. Then we had seen a friend's sister’s boyfriend, and he was OUT WITH ANOTHER GIRL. We both got really upset because we had become good friends with his girlfriend, so we had decided to mess with their heads. My friend, Michael (we all call him Mech, like mechanic, because he can fix practically anything) and I followed the two around. Luckily, no one recognized us.
We followed them to the diner-styled restaurant. Once we got out of line from behind them after ordering food, they sat down at a picnic table. We sat down next to them with our food (at the same table, pretty much next to them close enough to interrupt the date) and they gave us funny looks. We just stared back and started eating. Here’s the beginning dialogue:
Kris (jerk-boyfriend to one of my best bud’s sisters): Excuse me, but there are plenty of other tables for you to sit at.
Mech (M from here on out): We know. (We keep eating)
Jerk-boy’s date (Her name’s Kathy, so she’s K from here on): Well, we’d like some privacy. You’re sorta disturbing us. (Wow, she’s smart for a blonde...*wait, go back That was a smart aleck-y comment Remember that *)
Me (T for the rest): Are we? (Sincerly) Oh, we’re so very sorry! (We stay where we are, continue eating. Silence for a bit, and then Kris gets mad)
Kris (J for Jerk): Okay, who are you?
T: We’re with the republic. (I swear, I wasn’t even thinking of movies at the time. It just popped up into my mind, probably because we saw about a billion Republican bumper stickers on the way there.)
M: We’ve been sent to infiltrate the water park.
T: But we need to spy on teenage life forms. You’re our first victims.
M: M’kay? (This is where I almost start laughing. We’re very quick witted. We both write so I guess it just comes naturally–and maybe from watching all those sitcoms. We continue eating.)
K: Uh, not okay. We’re, like, doing something (Typical beach bunny behavior. She needs to shut up about now).
M: So are we. (Eating again. We like to eat. Very fun/normal.)
T (through mouthfuls of fruit salad): So, you guys wanna hit Big Daddy Falls later on?
J: We don’t know you
M: (plasters such a serious look on his face that I almost choke on a melon slice) Ah, but we know you, Kristopher McDougall.
J: What? (He’s so confused that I’m cracking up in my mind) Let’s jet, Kath. (They give up and leave their food on the table, walking away.)
M: (Tilting the plastic container of food his way) Yo, McDougall, can I have the rest of your cheese fries? (This is where we burst out in laughter, mostly because no one has EVER heard him use ‘yo’ before. He’s more of a ‘dude’ kind of guy.)
Kris and Kathy ran out to Aquazoid, the tallest and longest (and most awesome) ride in the park. We sneak after them quietly, and we’re in line right behind them (they don’t turn around so they didn’t see us). Once we’re near the top, almost in the raft, I poke Kris on the shoulder.
T: (Fonzie-style) Heyyyyyyyyyy! (He jumps after he sees me. There’s a really good chance he thought I was some kind of ghost.)
K: Who the heck do you think you are?
Random Lifeguard: Excuse me, but this is a family park. Stop the cursing. (Kris nods.) How many in the raft, sir?
Mech spoke for us instead of Kris.
M: Four. (The raft can fit eight, but they like groups so the lines go faster. Me and Mech go sit in the raft, Kathy and Jerk-Bro are surprised. Kris speaks up.)
J: What? We’re not getting in the raft with them! They’re lunatics!
Lifeguard: Please sit, sir. (The guy is REALLY buff, so Kris sits down in the only spot between me and Mech. Mech blows his nose on his t-shirt to make Kris disgusted–it works.)
It’s a very simple ride, but it’s the biggest and longest of them all, so it’s great. Most of it is in the dark, however, and all the tourists usually squeal in the tunnels. But there’s a sorta-tradition with regulars that says that either you don’t scream, or you scream when you’re out of the tunnels. High-schoolers don’t carry out the tradition– middle schoolers, for the most part, do. So, of course, we do, and we do it loud and proud. On the last small dip, me and Mech yell really really loud and high-pitched.
Once we’re out, we both grab Kris and link arms with him, leaving Kathy on the side, walking along. We sing the Phlarm song, a song made up by the 7th grade writer’s guild. It’s about an alien who lives in a bowl, and how he does his normal activities. During school, it was silly and cute–during the summer, it was quite annoying and actually sounded alien. Kris finally takes his arms away from us (no easy task, since Mech works out *though it doesn’t show, he’s very strong* and I’m just very strong-willed like that) and finally recognizes us–sorta.
J: Who in the name of all things Fred are you? (Yes, he said Fred. I dunno...at least I think I heard Fred.)
T: (like a little girl *a very Pim moment for me*) Violent, misunderstood geniuses...who get mad when we don’t get our way. (Mech starts looking hostile in his strange Mechy way. Kris doesn’t believe us.)
J: Wait...I’ve seen you guys somewhere...in Jay’s house? (We look to each other–it would make sense if he’d seen us before because we always hang out at Robin’s *the sister of the girlfriend of this creeps* pad) You’re friends of Robin.
T: And of Jay’s. (We stop being stupid and act our age–13. That’s sad.)
M (to Kathy): You don’t care that you’re going out with a guy who has a girlfriend already?
K: (to Kris) You do? (He’s a tad on the speechless side) Look, Kris, this is weird. I’m just gonna call a cab to take me home. (She leaves.)
J: Can I call you?
K: No. (Ouch. Score one for beach bunny, two for team Teej/Mech, and zippo for Jerk-Boy. I didn’t think she had moxy–let alone backbone. Nothing happens for a while.)
T: (Out of nowhere) So, really, you wanna get on Big Daddy Falls? (Kris leaves for his car. Me and Mech do our special handshake. Actually, it’s a regular handshake, but still.)
So we just ride on the rides until Mech calls his dad to come take us home. On the way there, I call Robin’s cell and tell her what happened. At first she was upset about the whole thing, but afterwards she started laughing. She never really approved of Kris at all, she told us, that Jay was trying really hard to make sure that he was loyal to her, and she was glad that we were there. Honestly, although a bit on the TV-worthy style, it was a pretty good day.
The funniest part is that it had actually happened–to me! Junk like this never happens to me.
And this is why it belongs in Curtis’s Comedy Central Cafe-Like Thing.