Post by sultanpeppershaker on Jan 7, 2006 21:26:49 GMT -5
For those of you over at FanFiction.net, if you've looked at my profile, you've seen this... for those of you who haven't... here it is- my deep thoughts.
Failure is not an option: It comes bundled with the software.
What's the point of a Kamikaze pilot wearing a helmet?
Whoever had the idea that going to the top of tall buildings allows you to better observe things on the ground?
Go and slam an elevator door!
Earth is the insane asylum for the universe.
How do you tell when you've run out of invisible ink?
There are no stupid questions- there are only inquisitive idiots.
Why is the alphabet in that order?
If the opposite of pro is con, then is the opposite of progress 'congress'?
What if the Hokey-Pokey is really what it's all about?
Never take a laxative and sleeping pill in the same night.
Why do we wash bath towels if we're clean when we use them?
Do sheep shrink when it rains?
We all have photographic memories- some of us just don't have any film.
What is a 'whack' and how do you know when you're out of one?
What do 'freedom fighters' fight?
Why do you sing 'Take me out to the ball game,' if you're already there?
Before you criticize somebody, walk a mile in their shoes. That way, when you criticize them, you're a mile away, and you have their shoes.
Doesn't expecting the unexpected make the unexpected expected?
The Gene Pool could use a little chlorine...
If you make instant coffee in a microwave, will you go back in time?
Where does baby oil come from?
Inside every older person is a younger person, wondering what happened...
Plan on being spontaneous tomorrow.
What kind of name for a graveyard is "Garden Cemetery"?
The early bird may get the worm, but the second mouse gets the cheese in the trap.
Good decisions often come from bad experiences. Bad experiences often come from bad decisions.
Why is there braille writing on drive-through ATMs?
Ever feel that you are parked diagonally in a parallel universe?
Quoting one is plagiarism; Quoting many is research.
Why isn't phonetic spelled the way it sounds?
Why isn't the word 'monosyllabic' monosyllabic?
Why is the word 'short' longer than the word 'long'?
Ever stop to think, and then forget to start again?
Isn't "after dark" really "after light"?
If cows laughed, would milk come out their noses?
Remember- half the people you know are below average.
Chocolate chip cookies are made of chocolate chips... what does that say about Girl Scout Cookies?
If at first you don't succeed, eliminate all evidence that you tried in the first place.
Two things that life needs: Background music and a Reset button.
Don't be so hard on yourself- being hard on others is so much easier.
How does the snow plow driver get to work?
What's the point of a Kamikaze pilot wearing a helmet?
Whoever had the idea that going to the top of tall buildings allows you to better observe things on the ground?
Go and slam an elevator door!
Earth is the insane asylum for the universe.
How do you tell when you've run out of invisible ink?
There are no stupid questions- there are only inquisitive idiots.
Why is the alphabet in that order?
If the opposite of pro is con, then is the opposite of progress 'congress'?
What if the Hokey-Pokey is really what it's all about?
Never take a laxative and sleeping pill in the same night.
Why do we wash bath towels if we're clean when we use them?
Do sheep shrink when it rains?
We all have photographic memories- some of us just don't have any film.
What is a 'whack' and how do you know when you're out of one?
What do 'freedom fighters' fight?
Why do you sing 'Take me out to the ball game,' if you're already there?
Before you criticize somebody, walk a mile in their shoes. That way, when you criticize them, you're a mile away, and you have their shoes.
Doesn't expecting the unexpected make the unexpected expected?
The Gene Pool could use a little chlorine...
If you make instant coffee in a microwave, will you go back in time?
Where does baby oil come from?
Inside every older person is a younger person, wondering what happened...
Plan on being spontaneous tomorrow.
What kind of name for a graveyard is "Garden Cemetery"?
The early bird may get the worm, but the second mouse gets the cheese in the trap.
Good decisions often come from bad experiences. Bad experiences often come from bad decisions.
Why is there braille writing on drive-through ATMs?
Ever feel that you are parked diagonally in a parallel universe?
Quoting one is plagiarism; Quoting many is research.
Why isn't phonetic spelled the way it sounds?
Why isn't the word 'monosyllabic' monosyllabic?
Why is the word 'short' longer than the word 'long'?
Ever stop to think, and then forget to start again?
Isn't "after dark" really "after light"?
If cows laughed, would milk come out their noses?
Remember- half the people you know are below average.
Chocolate chip cookies are made of chocolate chips... what does that say about Girl Scout Cookies?
If at first you don't succeed, eliminate all evidence that you tried in the first place.
Two things that life needs: Background music and a Reset button.
Don't be so hard on yourself- being hard on others is so much easier.
How does the snow plow driver get to work?